


amerighi

by missconcepts (purmassuri)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Family Dynamics, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Lee Taeyong Are Siblings, Please Don't Hate Me, donghyuck and taeyong need hugs, lots of hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:22:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purmassuri/pseuds/missconcepts
Summary: “Because boys shouldn’t fall in love with boys, Hyuck.”
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Lee Taeyong
Kudos: 19





	amerighi

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: This story contains homophobia and suicide. Certain parts were difficult to write as they are difficult to read. Please proceed with caution.

Lee Donghyuck was four when he saw two men holding hands in the street. He thought nothing of it, simply regarding it as a couple on their way to church like his mother and father were doing right now. That was until he heard his older brother express his disgust at the sight. 

“Ew, they’re holding hands even though they’re both men” his older brother, Taeyong, cried out. 

The couple seemed to have heard him since they both turned around with mortified looks on their faces. 

“Taeyong!” Donghyuck’s mother covered his son’s mouth quickly and uttered several apologies to the two. They shyly smiled at her and told her that it was fine before they went on their way. Like Donghyuck guessed, they were also headed for church’s direction. 

“Mama!” Taeyong pouted and crossed his arms as if he was the victim in the situation. 

Donghyuck didn’t find anything wrong with the men holding hands. They’re two people who are in love with each other. Don’t people do that when they’re with the one they love? 

“That was extremely rude, Taeyong” their mother scolded as he bent down to the nine year old’s level. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Don’t tell me you support that… that kind of atrocity, Haneul” their father intervened and glared at his wife as he pulled Taeyong towards him. 

Their mother backed away and quickly held on to Donghyuck’s tiny hand. “O-Of course n-not… but T-Taeyong was still being rude.”

Donghyuck felt uncomfortable holding her mother’s usually warm hand. Her skin was cold and clammy and she was trembling while she held his hand. He looked up at his father’s face and  _ oh,  _ he looks upset again. 

“We will talk about this later” the man said in a tone that shook both boys before he walked away with Taeyong in his hold. 

“Of course, dear” Donghyuck heard her mother whisper before she lifted him up in her rather skinny arms. “Let’s go now, shall we, Donghyuck?”

She was smiling and Donghyuck smiled, too. 

☼

“Why can’t men hold hands?” Donghyuck asked his brother when they were alone in the older boy’s room. 

“Because they just can’t, Hyuck” Taeyong replied. He was busy drawing on his sketchpad and he sometimes let his little brother come inside when Donghyuck was bored and had nothing else to do. 

“Why?” Four year old Donghyuck still didn’t understand. 

“Because it’s disgusting.”

“It dwon’t look dish- dishgushing to me” Donghyuck said, stumbling with his words. 

Taeyong sighed and dropped his pencil down before picking his brother up and placing him on the mattress beside him. “The word is dis-gus-ting, Hyuck and men should never hold hands. Do you understand?”

1, 2, 3. Donghyuck blinked at his brother. “But what if they in love… like mommy and daddy?”

The older boy scowled and quickly went back to his drawing. Donghyuck noticed how he was drawing in harsher strokes this time. The four year old boy craned his neck to see what his brother was doing. 

Lee Taeyong was an amazing artist according to his mother and Donghyuck loved looking at his drawings. The pen scratched the paper too harshly as black ink filled the piece. 

“Because boys shouldn’t fall in love with boys, Hyuck.” 

There were pretty flowers and they were painted with pretty colors yet Donghyuck wondered why they were the only ones with color. 

“It’s just wrong and disgusting.”

The pretty flowers with pretty colors bursted out of a boy’s chest. The boy had no color and he looked sad as he stared down at the flowers coming from his chest. Donghyuck didn’t know why his brother would draw such a thing. 

“Dad was right. Those two men were disgusting and they deserved to be called out.” 

As Donghyuck took a closer and longer look at his brother’s drawing, he finally saw it. 

“Hey, that’s you!”

The page was ripped off, crumpled, and tossed to the trash can.

☼ 

“Hey, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck stirred awake and rubbed his eyes as he rose from his sleep. It was still dark which means it’s not time for breakfast yet. So why would…

“Taeyong?” 

Donghyuck’s room was small. It could only fit his tiny bed, dresser, toy boxes, and the small shelf of books. He wondered why Taeyong would even come to his room. His older brother’s room was so much bigger anyways. 

“Yeah, it’s me.” Donghyuck could see his brother smile under the dim glow of his t-rex night light. “Can I sleep here with you, Hyuck?”

“But my bed is small” Donghyuck pouted. His peaceful slumber had just been disturbed and now his brother, who was supposedly smart, wanted to sleep on his tiny bed.

“I’ll sleep here on the floor, Hyuck” Taeyong chuckled as he ruffled his younger brother’s hair. “See?” He lifted up a pillow and a blanket. “I even brought my own pillow and blanket here.”

“Okay” Donghyuck nodded and slumped down back to his bed, already back to sleep in a matter of seconds. 

He missed to see the smile of endearment from his brother and the way he kissed him softly on the forehead. 

He also missed the sobs that erupted from Taeyong’s chest as he tried so hard to go to sleep. 

☼

The garden was their mother’s place and it was quickly becoming Donghyuck’s as well. The flowers planted months ago were beginning to bloom and show their full beauty under the glowing sun. His mother took care of each and every bud like they were her children. 

Donghyuck and Taeyong could hear their mother singing a tune whenever she went out at night to check on her flowers. Donghyuck sometimes ran out and sang with her.

“They’re so pretty, Mommy” Donghyuck gasped as he looked around the yellows, greens, and pinks around him. The garden even had butterflies flying around, looking more excited than they were. 

“They are, aren’t they?” she agreed with a smile on her beautiful face. “You and Taeyong should take care of them as well, okay?”

“Okay!” 

“Do you want to sing to them with me?” His mother knelt down to the ground as she gently touched the petal of an opening bud. 

“Of course” Donghyuck beamed. 

That evening, as Taeyong came back home from soccer practice with his friends, he could hear the familiar singing of his brother and his mother before he even reached the gate. He silently walked over to the garden and smiled at the sight of his family and the lovely song that calmed the ache in his body. 

_ “Somewhere over the rainbow _

_ Way up high _

_ There's a land that I heard of _

_ Once in a lullaby.” _

☼

Donghyuck was five when the police and ambulance sirens came blaring through the night. He was deep in the land of dreams when he was awoken by his older brother. His crying older brother. 

“Hyuck!” Taeyong cried as he pulled the young boy into his chest. Donghyuck’s pyjama was soaked with his brother’s tears and his whole body was engulfed in a tight hug.

Confusion filled the young boy. Why was Taeyong crying? Taeyong never cries.  _ Boys _ don’t cry like their father said. 

There was commotion downstairs and two policemen came inside his room. 

Were they going to be arrested? Donghyuck suddenly began to cry out of fear. He didn’t want to go to jail. 

“Come on, boys.”

They were led downstairs and Taeyong never released his hold on his little brother. He continued to cry and Donghyuck cried too though he was more confused more than anything. 

There were more adults downstairs and they looked at the two boys with… pity. 

They were led outside and Donghyuck could see the blaring lights of police cars and an ambulance. Some of their neighbours were also outside and they all seemed curious of what was happening inside Donghyuck’s home. Donghyuck was also curious. 

“Taeyong! Donghyuck!” It was their aunt. She ran over to hug them both and Taeyong cried even harder. “Thank God, you’re here.”

Donghyuck also hugged her back, though he doesn’t know why their aunt who lived away from them was suddenly here. She was also crying and the young boy could feel the wetness on her cheeks when she kissed him on the cheek.

The night went on with more crying from Taeyong and more confusion from Donghyuck. They headed inside their aunt’s car and drove off. The last thing Donghyuck saw as he looked back was the flowers their mother had planted behind the fences. They seemed to have already bloomed under the clouded moon. 

☼ 

Donghyuck was five when their mother committed suicide. 

They left the house that contained her only memory. 

☼

“Stop crying. It’s pathetic for a strong boy like you to keep on crying.”

Donghyuck choked on his tears as he forced himself to stop the tears from flowing down his face. Taeyong sat across him, a stony expression on his face. He just came home from soccer practice and now he’s drinking orange juice. 

He wondered how his brother was able to do it, how Taeyong was able to stop the tears. To stop the overflowing grief that Donghyuck can’t get rid of no matter how much his father told him to. 

“Look at Taeyong, Donghyuck. Look at his face. He’s no longer crying, is he?”

“N-No.”

“See? That’s how you should-”

A punch was thrown and the next thing Donghyuck knew was that he was pulled up from the couch and he was running outside the house. 

“Just run, Hyuck” Taeyong ordered him, his grip around Donghyuck’s wrist tightening. “Just run and don’t ever look back.”

Donghyuck was young yet he knew his brother so well. He could see fear and uncertainty in his brother’s eyes; yet Donghyuck could also spot the burning determination and love that only Taeyong could have in those same eyes that reminded him of their mother. 

Donghyuck was six when they ran off to an uncertain future. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
